Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
