so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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