pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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