Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
