remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
