Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm like, not good at living.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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