He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
