he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
