you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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