He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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