I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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