If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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