What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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