my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My balls are so social today.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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