they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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