I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
