Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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