I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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