I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
