oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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