dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
