Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i now understand why vodka
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
