Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was like eating out sand paper
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
