I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
