I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
As shirtless as possible
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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