can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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