2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
