she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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