I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
