I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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