WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
