I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
