If that was your dad, he is hot
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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