just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
