goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Rumble strips road head = magical
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
