i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
