Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
