I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
