Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
