so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
