I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
