Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize