Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sober January is a disaster.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
