I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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