I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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