Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
