Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
