I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
