remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
