Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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